10 Funky Monkeys to Ignore When Scouting Your Dream Home

Where are the OpportunitiesYou know what funky monkeys are, right? They’re other people’s problems that they are trying to foist off on trusting, unsuspecting YOU. And most of the time, the best course of action is to fly like a bat out of Hades when you see those monkeys heading your way. Fly, Baby, Fly!

However, there is at least one exception to the Fly, Baby, Fly rule. Consider this. When it comes to buying the home of your dreams, at the price of your dreams, funky monkeys can be opportunities. Did you hear that? Opportunities!

Why? Because most potential buyers run like the devil when they see them. And that leaves sellers in a painful predicament. A predicament that is going to cost them a serious load of cash. Cash that can go right into your pocket.

This is why we wax rhapsodic to every seller who will listen about the absolute, statistically proven value of fixing all issues and professionally staging BEFORE listing their home for sale.

But, however hard we try, we aren’t able to reach the hearts and minds of every seller in the Portland Metro market. So that leaves a lot of funky monkeys for you the potential home buyer to use to your advantage.

You need only two things to profit from a listing that is rife with funky monkeys: Imagination and blinders (both visual and emotional).

Wait. Three things. And a real estate team that is adept at separating the relatively painless funky monkeys from the money-eating, life destroying funky gorillas. That’s us, of course.

Aided by a list of easy repairs, plus a dearth of buyers willing to make those repairs, the SkyBlue Portland team will negotiate with the seller on your behalf to reduce the price of the home. The longer the list, the greater the potential price reduction.

Getting Your Dream Home at Your Dream Price

Okay, ready to take a closer look at some of the funky monkeys that could save you a heap of money? Here they are:

Curb Appeal

In today’s visual world, first impressions matter–big time. Most buyers discredit 90% of homes in their price category on the web. Then they discard another 5% as they drive by. They never get to the front door. Don’t be that buyer.

Curb appeal is one of the easiest things to change in a home. It can involve something as simple as a new door in an inviting color, large garden pots at the entry, or perhaps some minimal landscaping. None of these are deal breakers.

Older Home

Let’s face it. Most people are scared silly by older homes. We’ve all heard the horror stories.

Common wisdom holds that older homes can be bottomless money pits. But is this really true?

We look at a lot of older homes in the Portland metro market–many of them built with unparalleled quality, both in materials and in workmanship. And where else will you find the timeless style, sense of place, and gorgeous details that many older homes offer?

Wild Paint

Paint is one of the easiest and least expensive things to change in a home. And yet we see home buyers reject homes based solely on the color of the walls. They just can’t see past the discordant color.

Discordant (loud, gaudy, sentimental, bright, dark, unfashionable) colors can create a lasting negative emotional resonance. And that sends unknowledgeable buyers running. Which, as we’ve already said, is very good news for you, the savvy buyer.

Wacky Wallpaper

If there is anything more deleterious to a home sale than wild paint, it’s wallpaper. And it doesn’t have to be wacky wallpaper. Any wallpaper will do.

And like wild paint, wacky wallpaper is the savvy home buyer’s friend. It’s easy and inexpensive to remove and yet it sends home buyers running.

Outdated Appliances

We all want brand new stainless steel appliances in the kitchen. It’s a given. White appliances send shivers up our spines. They’re like the sound of fingernails running over a chalkboard. Hard to ignore and even harder to forget. They send buyers running.

But here’s the thing. Homes in the Portland Metro area cost on average $349,000. While quality stainless steel appliances cost only a few thousand dollars—which we will assist you in negotiating off the price of the home.

Kitchen appliances are quick and easy to replace. In the grand scheme of things (15-30 year mortgage), they should not make the difference between a buy or pass.

Gross Carpet

Maybe it’s in the Portland water, but we all seem to ABHORE carpet these days. At SkyBlue Portland, we have worked with buyers who refuse to look at any home with even a speck of carpet.

But as homeowners ourselves, we have replaced entire floors of carpet with hardwood, on multiple occasions. It can be expensive (depending on the materials used), but it’s also relatively quick and easy.

Before you walk away from the perfect home with the gross carpet, let us help you call around to see what it will actually cost to make the upgrade. Aided by an estimate, we can negotiate with the seller. And remember, if the carpet is grossing YOU out, other buyers are running as well. That’s a good thing.

Stinky Socks

Have you ever walked into a home and thought, Stinky Socks? Or perhaps Smelly Cigars? Or maybe Reeking Dog Bed? Ugh!

This obstacle is only overcome by master buyers, leaving the field wide open for you. This obstacle requires discipline and fortitude. Put on those emotional blinders!

Except for a serious mold problem, there’s no stink that deep cleaning and repainting with odor inhibiting paint can’t fix. And yes, we know this from experience.

Popcorn Ceilings

Popcorn is great at the movies, but nothing screams DATED more fervently than popcorn on the ceiling. Even I cringe when I see it, and I see it all the time.

Ignore it! There are plenty of ceiling specialists in the Portland Metro area who can make it disappear fast. We can help you get a quote.

Fishbowl

Nobody likes the feeling of living in a fishbowl. Our homes should be our private havens.

But even homes with minimal backyard space and close neighbors on both sides can often be remedied with creative screening solutions. We’ve seen postage-stamp size backyards in the city that feel as private and rejuvenating as yards ten times their size.

Before you reject a home for lack of privacy, let’s talk about potential solutions.

Whether you are buying or selling, give us a call today at 971-804-4618. We know the Portland real estate market, we’re top-notch listeners, negotiators, problem solvers, and marketing pros–and we’re here for YOU.

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